Growing up my mama told me things like, “trust no one” & “I am your only true friend”. My childhood experiences confirmed these notions. I mean, sure I made a few friendships here and there, but none of them really stuck and moving away certainly didn’t help.
In high school, I was neither popular or lame (IMO). I was the one who sat closest to the exit and got lost in my daydreams during class time. Lunch was my favorite part of the day as it allowed me to stuff my face and mingle with fellow overlooked cool kids. My “clique”, if you will, resembled a mini version of the United Nations with our mix of Caribbean, Hispanic, Black, and White homies. At one point, I even had a Mexican best friend, which was cool. 🙂
In college, I was a substitute transplant and formed relationships through my true bff at her HBCU. We partied, Spring Break’d, cried, laughed, got lost, found God, repented and made mistakes together all over again. I often look back at those priceless moments and smile. #GoodTimes Then we all graduated and dispersed. Distance has a way of showing you who your true friends are and I was pleasantly surprised at the bonds that were deepened because of it.
In grad school, my cohort was my own dysfunctional family…some connections stronger than others. Again, we all graduated and went about our lives. Post graduation, I was too busy looking for a job to socialize and figured it would be counterproductive to do so on a nonexistent salary. So here I am, finally a working woman, and I have no friends!
Ok, that may be a bit dramatic. I have my close circle and social media folks, but I would love to form new, local friendships with people who have similar interests & quirks as me.
Since leaving college,I’ve read countless articles on and personally experienced the difficulty in making new friends as an adult. It’s not like I can roll up to a bar or Wednesday night service saying, “hey, wanna be my friend?” By now most are clique’d up and in that “no new friends” state of mind. Honestly, the introvert in me cringes at the thought of rejection or being misunderstood, again. The tomboy in me would love to form more male friendships, but that’s a whole ‘nother post…
My lack of friends got real when I found out about this awesome 3 day music festival and had no one to nag to come with. -sigh- I’ve added the Eventbrite app and will eventually convince myself to join a few Meetups to “find my people in 2014”, because I certainly won’t meet anyone new in my bedroom.
How do you make new friends?