Hello…is this thang still on?

First of all, I can’t believe its been TWO YEARS?!  This is why I don’t make promises. smh #GotsTaDoBetta

Secondly, I basically had to crack the code to bust up in hea…I’d like to thank God for my renewed patience; because I almost gave up. Seriously.

III: Wassup, how y’all doin? 🙂

The amount of change/growth that can happen in two years…I don’t even think I’m the same person anymore. A lil more grown and a lil more tattered, but my scars make me who  I am; right? I probably won’t share it all on this particular blog, because: life vomit is a bit much.

 

I was inspired to dig this blog back up while talking to a fellow introvert/writer (I use that term loosely, but I do believe that I express myself best through creative writing), so here I am. Hopefully, consistency will be a thing this time.

 

Mic Check

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2014, the year of… pt. II

2014 in a nutshell.

2014 in a nutshell.

1. Faith

2. promising to NEVER settle

3. new & budding relationships (platonic and romantic)

4. Transition

5. mini lessons…

6. Risks

7. embracing *Womanhood*

8. the Front Line Soldier (as it relates to work)

9. practicing what I preach

10. realizing people are sensitive (& that’s ok, cus I can be too)

11. Self Acceptance (on every level)

12. realizing there ain’t a shortage of fine, educated and well-rounded men (drink to that 😉 lol)

13. Confirmation

14. Peace ^_^

15. knowing that no matter what, I’m gonna be ok 🙂

16. Forgiveness 

17. Freedom

18. realizing that failure isn’t such a bad thing…

19. going hard or going home

20. tapping into my inner extrovert & being social

21. accepting that it’s ok to have or understand several perspectives #Balance

22. confirming that women and men can actually be friends (lol)

23. Connections

24. out with old traditions (thxgiving & xmas), in with the new (Kwanzaa)

*This is as far as I got, but I’ll add more if I have more a-ha moments by the end of the year…thanks for reading 🙂

Ask & you shall receive… pt. I

2014 was everything I could have hoped for & more. Mind you, it had its ups and downs, but more ups/solutions/grateful moments than downs. 🙂

It’s late, but I am going to try to come back & write what I learned, accomplished, & realized in 2014…

{to be cont.}

Until then…here’s the beauty of the evening, enjoy.

Island Gal

Connected…

trust god

“God provides for all of our needs, including love, material, support, encouragement, and sound voice. We never need to fear anything would be withheld. We are the only ones whoever withhold anything from ourselves.”

A couple months ago I had this innate feeling that 2014 was going to be MY year, hands down, and not just because I planned on going on one of those “New Year, New Me” kicks either. I just knew wholeheartedly that my relationship with God was about to be taken to the next level. Honestly, if I was Him I would be like, “bout time :|” Don’t get me wrong, I’m nowhere near perfect and I’m still a work in progress. I may fall, but that’s ok & He’ll help me back up! Part of me finally realizes that my flaws are no surprise to my Creator and he loves me unconditionally.  I wish I could express the amount of joy and freedom this reality brought me. For the first time in my life, I crave to be totally and completely vulnerable and real with him.

I can NOT remain the same, because evolution is necessary. However, I am learning to do this without losing my originality and becoming a “carbon copy Christian”, because I’ve learned to love and accept myself through him. All of our spiritual journeys are different. Everyone’s relationship with their God is different, just like all romantic relationships are different. I hope to break the stereotype of believers being holier than thou, stiff lipped, close minded individuals because at the end of the day none of us can cast the first stone and it’s not my place to judge anyone. On that same note, I know what I’ve been through and I know what he’s got me out of, but I can’t tell you why you should believe. Again, I’m not here to convert you, but I do want you to know that He is NOT mad at you. Just like any other parent, he just wants the BEST for you.

For years I put my relationship with Him on the back burner because of fear, doubt, and since I’m being completely honest, selfishness and shame. In the past, I put people before him, yet where are they now? Mind you some people are there for a season and a reason, but I digress.  I remember being too ashamed to turn to him (more than once), but He was always forgiving, consistent, and forthcoming. I’m grateful that He didn’t turn his back and give up on me. I can no longer sit back idly and fade into complacency. I feel compelled to walk in my purpose, speak life, and share the love. These past few years and their lessons prepared me for this place of spiritual peace and commitment to Him. My mindset has changed and I see the world differently now.  I’m grateful for growth and look forward to the opportunities and new learning experiences that will present themselves this year. I’m no longer walking in guilt & fear, instead I’m walking in love & faith. Here’s to letting going and letting God, finally.

{Friends} how many of us have them?

friends

Growing up my mama told me things like, “trust no one” & “I am your only true friend”.  My childhood experiences confirmed these notions. I mean, sure I made a few friendships here and there, but none of them really stuck and moving away certainly didn’t help.

In high school, I was neither popular or lame (IMO). I was the one who sat closest to the exit and got lost in my daydreams during class time. Lunch was my favorite part of the day as it allowed me to stuff my face and mingle with fellow overlooked cool kids. My “clique”, if you will, resembled a mini version of the United Nations with our mix of Caribbean, Hispanic, Black, and White homies. At one point, I even had a  Mexican best friend, which was cool. 🙂

In college, I was a substitute transplant and formed relationships through my true bff at her HBCU. We partied, Spring Break’d, cried, laughed, got lost, found God, repented and made mistakes together all over again. I often look back at those priceless moments and smile. #GoodTimes Then we all graduated and dispersed. Distance has a way of showing you who your true friends are and I was pleasantly surprised at the bonds that were deepened because of it.

In grad school, my cohort was my own dysfunctional family…some connections stronger than others. Again, we all graduated and went about our lives. Post graduation, I was too busy looking for a job to socialize and figured it would be counterproductive to do so on a nonexistent salary.  So here I am, finally a working woman, and I have no friends!

Ok, that may be a bit dramatic. I have my close circle and social media folks, but I would love to form new, local friendships with people who have similar interests & quirks as me.

Since leaving college,I’ve read countless articles on and personally experienced the difficulty in making new friends as an adult. It’s not like I can roll up to a bar or Wednesday night service saying, “hey, wanna be my friend?” By now most are clique’d up and in that “no new friends” state of mind. Honestly, the introvert in me cringes at the thought of rejection or being misunderstood, again. The tomboy in me would love to form more male friendships, but that’s a whole ‘nother post…

My lack of friends got real when I found out about this awesome 3 day music festival and had no one to nag to come with. -sigh- I’ve added the Eventbrite app and will eventually convince myself to join a few Meetups to “find my people in 2014”, because I certainly won’t meet anyone new in my bedroom.

How do you make new friends?